Pregnancy, And What Really Matters

Photo by  Luma Pimentel  on  Unsplash

Today I'm upending my self-imposed maternity leave with a piece over at about my pregnancy with Ace. Throughout my pregnancy I thought a lot about the things people say to pregnant women. Things that aren't a big deal unless there's reason to be worried. ("How's the pregnancy going?" isn't always so easy to answer.)

I was less worried about health issues, though there were some, and more afraid in general: of the future, of what would asked of us, of who my baby would be. And the questions of strangers were a constant lesson in reevaluating those fears, of receiving the good gift God was giving me.

And when I say "good gift" I mean it. Look at this face!

Here's a little bit from the post:

And the strangers at the playground and the library, the acquaintances at my son’s school, asked the same questions people have asked for ages. “How’s the pregnancy going?” they asked. “Is everything healthy?”

They asked the questions I’d asked pregnant women in my life so many times before. They asked the questions I was asked in my other pregnancies, questions I never thought twice about answering.

“How’s the pregnancy going?” I didn’t want to lie, and I didn’t want to tell the truth either. I didn’t have words for the strangers and acquaintances. What could I tell them except that I was afraid?

Our child would have Down syndrome, and I was trying to make peace with what that meant for me, for my family. I was still reminding myself that it wasn’t a dream each morning when I woke and my body was full of a child I didn’t yet know and wasn’t sure how to plan for.

Read the rest over at